What can I do? please help me. I am begging you. please please...?

it may be hard. but try to communicate via SMS or Ringling. Please try to chat to him as much as you can. maybe you two could webcam each over to see how things are going on. its nice that you have feelings for him but please try to move on. you may have feelings for him but he's your friend so don't try to loose him after years of friendship.